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I don’t have swine flu.  But I did get confused if in my body I nurtured that virus.

Don’t panic. You can continue reading this post. You won’t catch the pig flu reading this post.  I have no relation with any pig and no girl has ever thought I am a male chauvinistic pig – but don’t ask my wife.

It is not that contagious – although watching too much of television will make you stay away from even seeing the video clip of a person having swine flu.

As is normal I got my bimonthly installment of cold that emanates from cleaning the house.  To be specific, I was dusting the study material that I received three months back for my FRM exams scheduled for November 2009 (Some habits die hard.  One doesn’t dust educational stuff that often. Right?).   Like for many people, my nose and dust have a in-lawful relationship – mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.  So I caught the cold.

My normal treatment for cold is using Vicks, reaching out for the hand kerchief that I always carry but never use except when my body has cold climate – to make my nose make secret noises shortly called sneezes and taking Vicks Action 500 or Coldarin.

This time would have been no different except that I had:

a) taken flights in and out of Dubai, Muscat and Chennai in the past three weeks

b) interfered with the sneezy launch of fluing viruses made by multi-national passengers

c) warm handshakes with MNCs (Multi-National Customers) of our Company who didn’t appear having the practice of using tissues / hand kerchiefs.  Adding complication to the cold was the possibility that those MNCs had MNCs (Multi-National Colleagues) whose hanki / tissue usage I would never know.

d) been watching Indian TV channels full of news of 1 divided by 1.10 billion people dying of swine-flu everyday.  They were reporting the horrific news of a 20 fold increase in the death toll as the flu’s victims included a 4 (year old boy) and also 80 (year old man).

So instead of reaching out for Vicks Vaporub and Vicks Action 500 I took the following rapid steps:

1. Googled to understand swine flu and its symptoms (I got 16,800,000 results for Swine Flu – 16 times more popular than “Michael Jackson death” which only returned 1.14 million results).

2. Selected the most appropriate articles and videos to read and watch.  I was careful not to accidentally click any article by people affected by swine-flu so that I didn’t get it from them. Years of using computers and my recenty acquired CISA degree has taught me that viruses spread really fast over the internet especially when you are not protected.

3. Compared the symptoms listed with the symptoms – found that I clicked on some and didn’t click on some – leaving me with reasonable confusion beyond any doubt that the cold I had was not the rare variety that one normally gets but the common variety that only the swine-fluites get.

4. Got my confusion and my fears compounded when I read the additional information that the virus could be deadly for people who are already living dead with diabetes mellitus.

Having scaled the Everest of confusion that television and print media was determined to create I started to ponder the idea of going for a voluntary test to rule out the blown out of proportion virus from my body, mind and soul.

First thing I did was to consult my colleagues in office.  I asked one of my colleagues over phone, punctuated with sneezes and coughs; – over phone:

“Do you know of any private hospital in Kuwait that tests for swine-flu?”

“Why sir?”

“You know, I have cold and mild cough since morning”

My colleague didn’t allow me cough out any more information.

“Oh my God! better check sir! You might have swine flu”

“But dear it might well be common cold.  I just called you to check if you have some handy medicine for cold”

“No Sir! Don’t take chances! This is a deadly virus. Why don’t you go to the Government Hospital to check?”

Hurriedly I hung up the phone.

I could understand the enormity of the problem.  No one expects anyone to have common cold these days.  Everyone has their common sense enriched with the knowledge that people with swine flu have cold and cough.  I didn’t have that common sense.

But then, I also didn’t want to take the chance of going to the Government Hospital.

On my arrival from India before I passed the immigration the Health Ministry had taken a declaration from me.

They had asked me if I had cold, headache, cough or fever and warned me that I should inform if I had one or more of these.

I was sure I had none of these.  I had packed my baggage myself.  There was no way I had these things in my luggage.  My shirt and pant packets had nothing other than passport, ticket, boarding card, mobile, iPod, pen, key chain etc.

Though I had none of those (cold, headache, fever, cough) the Health Ministry demanded that I immediately contact a health center within 72 hours of arrival if I found any of those  failing which I might face imprisonment for one month and a fine of KD 50 (approximately Rs.8000)

By the time I had caught cold – red nosed – 72 hours had elapsed and I had no idea if my company will treat the one month I might spend at a Kuwaiti Prison as paid leave and/ or reimburse the KD 50 fine I might end up paying.

Though I had hung up the phone, the news that I might have swine flu spread like a computer virus through the corporate network.

My colleagues who normally frequent my cabin stopped coming.

None dared to send me a document or a file to check. Emails stopped.  People feared my reply to their email might carry the virus as attachment.  To top it all Norton had not released any vaccine for the swine flu virus.

Everything in my life came to a standstill except my nose that continued running. It was almost like having a holiday in the office right in the middle of a work week and that too fully paid by my Company.  But to enjoy that holiday I had none for company.

It made me think if swine flu was more deadly than AIDS.  If swine flu killed more people than heart attacks or accidents. Just in time, I got this mail from my school friend Sampath.

There is panic and knee jerk reactions – every one is talking about Swine Flu, its indications and the precautions to be taken. People are panicky and restless spreading rumours about residents getting afflicted with this disease. People are walking around wearing masks and there are intelligent advices on the symptoms as ‘fever, cough, sore throat, runny or stuffy nose, body aches, headache, chills and fatigue, also diarrhea, vomitting. Most of these symptoms would prevail for a common flu or viral infection and anxious parents are dying in fear without anything happening !!

Masks may not be a great prevention and are more of a fashion statement. Wildly, they could even act as vehicles of carriage in crowded places where one gets recirculated air. The usage of mask would benefit only the seller of the mask as these are now sold at exorbitantly fancy prices. Here is something which is different – this is not any attempt at a scholastic article but really provides some hope. Please do read on………….

For the uninformed, Influenza, commonly referred to as the flu, is an infectious disease caused by RNA viruses of the family Orthomyxoviridae (the influenza viruses), that affects birds and mammals. The name influenza comes from the Italian influenza, meaning “influence” (Latin: influentia). Swine flu, scientifically called by its serologic classification, as H1N1 Influenza A. is a respiratory disease caused by a new strain of the influenza virus type A. The strain is known as H1N1 and is the same as the one found in seasonal flu outbreaks, except that it contains genetic material found in birds, humans and pigs. It is now a wholly human virus. There are thousands of different kinds of viruses that can cause the flu. New strains develop frequently and each one is different from the one before it. The seasonal flu is actually comprised of several different strains of flu. Although most flu symptoms are mild and last only a few days without treatment, health officials worldwide are concerned because the virus is new and could easily mutate and become more virulent. Way back in 1918, Swine influenza was proposed to be a disease related to human influenza when pigs became sick at the same time as humans. Researches have shown that the present outbreak is due to a new strain of H1N1 not previously reported in pigs.

Here is something which sounds optimistic and somewhat realistic also. These are few facts about swine flu given by Epidemiologists, who study the factors affecting the health and illness of populations, and makes logical interventions in the interests of public health and preventive medicine : -

1) Swine flu, that is H1N1 flu is not new, first detected in 1987
2) Infective stage of flu is 5 days, 1 day before and 4 days after onset of symptoms

3) The best way to prevent it spreading is by isolating patient having symptoms of flu like fever cough and running nose, keeping them to take rest at home for 4 days so he does not transmit it
4) Masks are of limited value if any, in this disease, it can spread through droplets on your skin, through contact etc,

5) Death after H1N1 flu is not common, infect infections like measles is taking toll of thousands more every year, and we are oblivious of the facts. Swine flu is being blown out of proportion by media trying to create hysteria among lay people.

6) Fever accompanied by respiratory distress, should be immediately notified which is likely to be a complication of H1N1 flu

7)The mortality is less than .01 percent of those affected, that means may be one in 10,000 affected is likely to suffer the life loss.

If you remember, 2 years ago SARS was blown out of proportion, what happened?

Precaution is certainly good but not panic. One report states that in US – for every 1000 people who get infected, about 40 people need admission to hospital and about one person dies”. Humans develop immunity to the virus, the same is going to happen, we develop immunity in due course of time, the virus is in the air, you can not stop it, our body is already developing the immunity so nothing to panic. We need to take care of children and elderly who have less immunity and do not let them go to crowded places that are all.

So do not be unduly afraid of this Flu and let your daily work continue as normal. If we do not know anything fully, let us at least not spread unscientific rumours.

It made me stop swining and start taking Vicks Action 500 again.  My common cold is now gone and I am hale and healthy to write this post.

But certainly had swine flu run wild in my imaginative mind for few days. I also bought some pharma company shares so that I make enough profit – just in case I have to pay the KD 50 fine and spend one month in prison without any pay from my company.

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