All things sweet about being a diabetic
I tested positive for diabetes at the age of 37. The detection was by accident or as a by-product of a mandatory medical test that I had to undergo for a new job. The doctor diagnosed it and almost stood like a “nandi” between me and the “remunerative” new job. (For the uninitiated, diabetes is having a mad body that is not intelligent enough to use all the sugar that one consumes in a day. As it doesn’t know how to control the sugar levels, the level fluctuates up and down. The most common form of diabetes is Type II. It is that much better if you are not Type I diabetic as you will be less dependent on Insulin if you are II class than I class).
It took all of thirty days and my threats to the doctor with googled proofs that diabetic people are as normal as anyone and can do all the regular office work, such as, sending email forwards, chatting with friends online, blogging, browsing the internet etc., before I could get the fitness certificate from him.
I was unawares that I was a such a sweet guy until the Doctor tested me positively. Looking back, I feel that I should have found out about my sweet-self without the help of the Doctor. But, he was the one who gave the clue. He told me that this could be hereditary. It was all in the genes. My parents and grand parents were very sweet people. They never scolded me, gave me all the love in the world and also had diabetes.
I probably got some of my sweetness as (unasked) dowry from my in-laws as I later on found out that even my father in law and mother in law were as sweet as me. That, despite the fact that I am married to their daughter. My wife became too much of a sweet person after I became a diabetic.
I didn’t know or care much about diabetes until the time I tested positive for it. I have to also admit that I didn’t know how much inferior was my knowledge on “how to control diabetes, the easy way”.
No sooner that the news was out in the open about my diabetes that I started getting advise on how to control the monster. Everyone started treating me sweetly and started giving their priceless – it came free – advise.
Within no time, I got to know about the sugar controlling properties of almost all vegetables, spices, powders and food items. Everyone, whether diabetic or not, had knowledge about how to control sugar and had a tip or two on what is a good diabetic diet. The advises didn’t stop on what I should eat, but also on how I should walk, what exercises I do etc. etc. Some of them guaranteed that if I followed such and such routine for such and such period, my diabetes will evaporate in thin air.
It hasn’t. I google everyday to find if there is any latest break-through that cures diabetes once and for all and have not got any answer, till today. May be Google has not yet indexed the information out there with the extra-terrestrials.
So, I am still living as a sweet guy. However, through all these years of living with sugar (or should I say without sugar?) I have found the following sweet benefits of being a diabetic:
1. You can get variety of chocolates by saying you are low on sugar
2. Family gets one share extra of the sweets, chocolates and fruits that would have been otherwise reserved for you
3. You start doing exercises and actually look younger than your age
4. You standout in a gathering, when you say, “coffee without sugar”
5. You get to eat multiple times in a day, lest sugar gets out of control
6. You need not carry heavy shopping bags (Doctor advises you not to carry heavy things)
7. Your diet is automatic as your stomach gets filled with colorful tablets
8. You can make money by investing in the shares of companies that sell all those tablets
9. You can excuse from a boring meeting saying you have low sugar
10. Used Insulin needles come handy to clean block in Gas burners
11. Used Insulin needles come handy to take out CDs from computer CD tray when the button doesn’t eject
12. You have something to talk with a fellow diabetic in a social gathering
13. When you control sugar, you can feel proud that you ‘control’ at least something
14. If you are lucky, and Doctor is sympathetic, you can have ***gra prescribed for you and sell it off in the open for a premium and make a cool buck
15. You can take a Amway agency and thrive on selling diabetic controlling herbal products to your diabetic network and earn big commissions
16. You can scold your wife without she knowing that you are doing it, by calling her “honey” and “sweety”
17. You can suddenly get very angry at anyone and later on explain that to high sugar
Tail piece:
While I was chasing for the medical certificate, I got the inside information from the clinic, that on the same day I was crowned “sugar king” there were at least four other persons who also got that coveted title.
I didn’t need to see Dasavatharam to know about the butterfly effect (chaos theory). Moreover, Kamalhassan had not thought about breaking the world record for maximum number of masks in a single movie at that time.
I calculated two plus two equals three and concluded that me and my fellow sugar kings saying NO to sugar will have an effect on the sugar sales across the country. There was nothing sweet about holding on to their shares with the privileged information that I had about definite decline in sales of sugar. I do not know if all diabetics do this sane thing after diagnosis, but I did. First, I logged on to www.icicidirect.com and immediately sold off all the sugar company shares I held. One person consuming less sugar for the next 63 years was enough for me to shun their shares, but I had information that four more were going out of sugar.
Having gotten out of sugar company shares and having lost an opportunity to lose money (if you do not lose money in the stock markets, you are not manly), I quickly swung into action and placed order to buy pharma company shares that made diabetes and cholesterol drugs. I hope my wife will read this post and know why my portfolio is bleeding while my heart is better.
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Hi Sathya,
Read your article on Diabetes. Good one. If you have suggested medicines for Diabetes it would have been much more comprehensive or some tips on exercises for diabetes will help the readers a lot. I am sure soon there will be good treatment for diabetes by which a person can get completely rid off it. Nevertheless, we need to set up our mind to have natural foods.
Hi Sunderindia,
I seriously thought my post was humorous and will make people to at least smile.
From your comment asking for prescriptions for diabetes, I now know that people take my humor very seriously.
Hi Sathya,
I never knew diabetes can be so delicious!
Hi Vikram,
Welcome to my blog.
Yeap…gone are the days when Diabetes was a privilege to have..these days everyone has it…but u have brought back that status by shortlisting all the benefits…esp. “You can make money by investing in the shares of companies that sell all those tablets”
And last time when i was in a party i felt too stupid since i could not contribute to the knowledge-based discussion that was happening between two fellow diabetikars.
Hi Triplicani,
So sweet of you to come out with this detail but in a more lighter way.
You seem to be good not only in giving a good analytical article but also in writing lighter ones.
it is a sweet article with limited humour (you are cautious on your diet and sugar intake hence you did not get liberal with the humour) overall a good piece to read
very humorous and good to read and enjoy. Diabetes is 50% hereditary and 50% on one’s food habit. If we follow a healthy life style overcoming your busy work schedules, you will have less sugar in your blood. It is sweet to see this article from you.
Anand
Welcome to my blog.
I will convert myself from being conservative to liberal
Aruna,
Thank you.
Sathya,
You can grab some Biovon shares. They are researching on oral diabetic medicine than the conventional insulin to control diabetic.
Prasad
Prasad,
There are few insulin substitute tablets already available but are bit expensive. My doctor prescribed for me “Januvia” (sitagliptin) which is around Rs.45 per tablet in India. There is another one by Smithkline called “Avandia” but there was some controversy around it.
But, what you are suggesting is “oral insulin”; I will wait for the drug to be discovered before buying the stock speculatively. There may be many companies doing R & D on that subject around the world.
Dear Sathya
Hopefully you remember me. Your classmate in +2. Sat in front of your bench and still live in Triplicane. Good in humour. I too am your mate in this. A good six years since detected. Initial shock was ‘why me’. Now I continue to say to everybody that I am as normal as can be. Have no great temptation coming to eating sweets but cannot resist eating ‘all that is fried’. Honestly, do get a depressing feeling that could not eat choclates, sweets etc., though was never fond of them earlier but now when I go out, feel that there are so many eateries and people generally spend time only eating.
The sugar free things are not available in great variety in India. Understand that in foreign countries, there are many varieties of sugar free chocolates, biscuits, ice creams etc.,
Other than eating, stumbled upon your blog through TA Sriram, who has been speaking about you quite often and infact a year or something back, there was some initiative in Yahoo group which subsequently died a natural death.
Read some of your postings. How are you ? What about your family ? Presently I work for a Private Insurer in India. Have a son, and happily residing in Triplicane.
You would be aware of SYMA of Triplicane; We have a newsletter named BLISS for SYMA and I have the Editor since inception for nearly 5 year +
Dai Sampath,
What a pleasant surprise. I know Sriram would have only spoken all things good about me. Still do not believe all of them.
You know that Sriram is good in fiction (he has three super hit plays to his credit and to the audiences’ bad debit) and by that you can infer.
Yes. Sriram is quite popular. But as you said not all he says is credible !!
SYMA conducted Child Fest recently and Sriram was one of the Judges for the drama competition for children (I was the Organiser)
Sampath,
I am sure Sriram would have surely dropped these important words and phrases as a judge as these are what the judges use in TV reality shows “Awesome”, “Mindblowing”, “I am spell bound”, ”something is missing, என்னான்னு எனக்கு சொல்ல தெரில, ஆனா உங்களுக்கே அது தெரிஞ்சிருக்கும்” etc. etc.
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